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What to Do If Stress Is Affecting Things in the Bedroom


Rachel Saenger, LPC-S, LMFT-S is a marriage therapist in Georgetown, TX.

You feel like you’ve been stuck in the same routine. You’ve always strived to find a balance between your work life and home life, but your work life seems to be taking over lately.

You wake up in the morning, sometimes before your alarm even goes off, eager to start your day. Sure, you love your job, but lately, you feel like you can’t stay on top of all of the work that piles up during the day. Your inbox is always full, your phone is constantly ringing, and the number of tasks on your to-do list seems to increase during the day rather than decrease.


When you leave work for the day, all you can think about is how much more work you have to do or the work that’s going to be waiting for you when you come in the next morning. You can tell that your home life and relationship are suffering. You love your partner, but it seems like lately all you do is see one another in the morning when you wake up and at night when you eat dinner together and head to bed. You’re too exhausted and stressed to do anything else. And let’s face it, sex and stress don’t go together.

Here’s what to do if stress is affecting things in the bedroom.

Practice Self-Care

Sex is one of those things that is more likely to happen if you feel good about yourself. Self-care means taking the time to meet your basic human needs as well as your wants. There are many different ways for you to practice self-care, but let’s start with the basics.

Aim to eat between three to five healthy and well-balanced meals throughout the day. Don’t skip meals, and try not to over-caffeinate during the day. You want to make sure that you’re aiming for at least eight hours of uninterrupted sleep each night. Self-care can also mean planning time for yourself, getting your hair or nails done, or spending time with friends.

Manage Your Stress

If you’re starting to notice your sex drive is decreasing due to stress, try to find ways to better manage that stress. This means avoiding any unhealthy coping mechanisms like using and abusing drugs and alcohol, gambling, recklessly driving, and more.

Here are a few healthy ways to manage stress:

  • Deep breathing

  • Body scan

  • Yoga

  • Meditation

  • Journaling

Plan Date Nights

Stress may be getting in the way of your relationship. If that’s the case, make time for one another. There’s nothing wrong with implementing date nights again. No matter how long you and your partner have been together, there’s never a bad time to plan a little one-on-one time together.

Change it up and go out to eat, head to the movies, or go for a walk around your neighborhood. Spending time together can help to push your stress to the side and find ways to focus on the things that are truly important to you again. You can also try to spice things up during the day by texting or calling your partner and trying to plan a date night when you get home.

A simple text or call can prepare you and your partner’s minds to get ready to spend some alone time together.

Consider Therapy

Stress is something that everyone will experience throughout their lifetime. If stress is something that is starting to get in the way of your daily life and routine, it may be time to seek additional support. Talking with a therapist can help you get to the root cause of your stress. Plus, a therapist will be able to help you learn healthy coping mechanisms for you to better manage your stress moving forward.

Reach out to me today if you or your partner are interested in speaking with a therapist.





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